My New Year's Intention

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In the West End neighborhood of New Orleans, Tacoma is shaded by live oaks, between Seattle and Portland


After reading this piece by Gwen Thompkins about Quint Davis and this one by Robert Gottlieb, a review of Emmanuel Carrere's collection of essays 97,196 Words I felt a rush of hope.  Lately in my meditation, I have been including the practice of Lovingkindness where you repeat mantra-like phrases that capture what one hopes for as we seek to end suffering for ourselves and others.  I learned mine from Jude Rhozen, which goes like this:

May I (or you or Pete or Sally) be happy and peaceful
May I be healthy and strong
May I be safe and free
And may I be able to care for myself with ease and joy.

To these lines I often add: May I be curious and confident.  The essay and the book review above were wonderful, clearly produced by skilled writers and observers, both of whom I suspect would agree with the Noel Coward observation that "work is more fun than fun".  Inspired, I felt a need to explore this a bit more,  this curiosity and confidence.  As 2020 approaches, I  am 27 months into retirement, about to turn 68, present at the last (hopefully long) section of a life. I want to "adjust" the default setting on this slice of my life.  Sometimes I can tap into my curiosity and sometimes I do so confidently, but a felt sense of fear, hesitancy, and retreat contribute to an aching emptiness that I feel in my gut much of the time.   An alternative is to approach each moment curiously and confidently, open to and interested in all the major and minor wonders of everyday life.  This sounds corny and it is simplistic but I believe it can be transformative, Writing about it is exciting. Not a "new year's resolution" but an intention, and one I hereby state publicly to be mine. 




Comments

  1. RandyDecember 23, 2019 at 2:00 PM

    Rob - thanks for sharing these thoughts (and your other recent ones). These are similar in spirit to some I received about a week ago from someone else; all of them remind me that simple determination, put into practice, can go a long way. I wish I had something meaningful to say about the feeling of emptiness, which I’ve certainly experienced as well, though you’ve obviously gone a long way toward resolving it. Randy

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  2. RobDecember 28, 2019 at 7:55 AM

    Thanks Randy. Have you heard of the Default Mode Network, a description of the human mind or consciousness that spins out thoughts and memories and plans and anxieties continually in waking life, and that is turned down or off during mindfulness meditation? I invented an acronym for it: DAMN for Default Addiction Mode Network. Determination and meditation go together, helping me to swim outside the currents of the damn thing!

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