Getting closer to crazy

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Well, we gotta do something! New Orleans French Quarter, May 2020


 we'll get through this. Frenchmen Street Spring 2020
If you could hack into my journal, you would find a pretty down and desperate entry that I actually considered posting.  In it I attempt to describe my emotional state, and I blame the lockdown for uncovering and illuminating it. Stay-At-Home started here on March 22.  California was the first on March 19 and South Carolina the last on April 7.  Anyway, I’ve been stewing in the juices of my often dysfunctional cognitive and emotional regime.  Taking action, but it’s been really hard.  I know others are worse off than I while some are thriving and experiencing extra joy.  And of course, some are sick and others are grieving.  May we all find sources of strength and may we embody resilience.  My personal mantra, constructed during an online meditation class, is Breathe In Curiosity, Breathe Out Kindness.  Just breathe.

Comments

  1. RandyMay 29, 2020 at 1:08 PM

    Seems the COVID-19 pandemic is uncovering and illuminating lots of things. From the White House to the local corner, we’re often seeing the worst in people. Maybe something good will come of that; I like to think that we have a better look at what true cooperation- and its opposite - actually are. But that’s just a dry-hearted attempt at philosophy; I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling.

    Maybe others will encourage you to fully bare your soul and post your darkest entries, but obviously you made the decision not to for a reason. I’m reminded of a writing group I was once in. One of its members was constantly urging people to reveal their most personal secrets. She was in her forties, but spoke in a child’s voice much of the time. “Give us the joosy stuff,” she’d plead. “We want to the joosy stuff!”

    No, sometimes the joosy stuff is none of anyone’s business,

    ReplyDelete
  2. RobMay 29, 2020 at 2:11 PM

    Hey, thanks Randy. I love that, the joosy stuff. Meditation teachers have recommended the "noticing" of thoughts during meditation, and some have recommended that you "name" categories of thoughts or specific thoughts that tend to recur, like that line from the Ry Cooder song, Trouble You Can't Fool Me: "Trouble, you can't fool me, I see you behind that tree". Now that I've thought it, I will probably have to use it as a naming device: ISIS, for Imposter Syndrome In Situ or Imposter Syndrome In-sight. Little bits of awareness. While I'm in the rapids, I want to keep my feet pointing downstream.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tynan GranbergJune 18, 2020 at 3:50 PM

    Hey Rob, we miss you guys! Sending good vibes from your old stomping grounds. We're gonna try to swing by the Red Hot for takeout this week. Love, T&A

    p.s. What are you listening to, lately? Not sure how much hip-hop you intake, but the new Run the Jewels album is incredible (and incredibly timely).

    ReplyDelete
  4. RobJuly 6, 2020 at 12:30 PM

    Love the Red Hot, can't wait to visit some favorite people and places in Tacoma! Listening to too many political and news pod casts. Want to listen to Phoebe Bridgers new one, I did love Fiona Apple's new record and liked the most recent Grace Potter. Jon and other critics told me to catch the Run The Jewels. Will do. I have a plan to spend more time with music, and will let you know what happens!

    ReplyDelete

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